Marching Towards Grace

It’s been a long time since we update our sweet Cade’s blog. He is in the same set of legs as the last time we chatted although new ones are in the works. Truth is, we’ve been up to  a whole lot of nothing. No big plans. No changes in our lives. Just growing and learning and giving grace.






We’ve had a revolutionary week haven’t we, as citizens in the United States and those who are abroad doing great things. We’ve inaugurated a man into office many think is not qualified. Many think is unkind and many think will change our freedoms. I for one can’t believe that we actually got here. But then I hated both candidates and used my freedom to NOT vote for either. But many of you are hurting and fearful and taking to the streets to march. I’m thankful you live in a land where you can express your opinion and peacefully gather. How lucky are we, let’s march to keeping it that way.

From what I can gather, the Women’s March is a gathering of women (and men) who are protesting the new Trump administration. Or women’s rights. Or minority rights. Or world unity. Or breast feeding in public. Or _____. I’m not quite sure actually. It seems at least from Facebook and the news that everyone is marching for something and they aren’t necessarily one in the same. And you’re all passionately devoted to this cause. And I’d have no problem marching along with you all on many of those topics. Women should be treated well, paid well, loved well. It is our obligation, both male and female, to take care of the less fortunate, the hurting, the homeless, the burdened. But I don’t need laws or a government to tell me that. I could march along with you in support of strong women who want their opinions heard. We are not yucky. We are not nasty. We deserve to be loved. Done. Marching right along with you.


But if I happened to find myself standing next to a person holding a “I stand with Planned Parenthood” sign, I might start crying and realize, perhaps this isn’t the loving and accepting place I had hoped it would be. But then how could it be? This broken world with all its different beliefs and claims to rights. And it would all just start looking like one big hypocrisy. Perhaps after all, we do not know what we are actually marching for?

You see we’d be at odds immediately. You and me. And I’d try to understand how you could be holding that sign. You’re standing there afraid that your right to killing an unborn baby might be taken away from you and I’d be standing there thinking, “what makes you think you have that right to begin with?” Isn’t that one of the reasons we’re marching here after all? I was led to believe we were marching to protect the lives of ALL humans. Black and white, female and male. To promote equality. Unless of course it’s a baby 3 days away from being born and you still have the protected right to kill that baby who, although human, does not apparently have a RIGHT or a CHOICE. A baby who could live outside your body without you. What if it is only 12 weeks along? Is it then not human? How do we march next to each other so at odds and for such undefined things? Doesn’t it just seem, dare I say, fake? Like a whole lot of nothing? Pretend unity when really, we are so far from being united in our beliefs and therefore ultimately our actions.

It all just makes me ache a little bit. I do not stand here in judgement over you sweet friends. I can not even begin to understand the roads you’ve taken or the heartache some have walked through but oh, how I do know heartache and oh have I been given the opportunity. I have been told that there was something very wrong with my sweet baby. And at 12 weeks pregnant I had to ponder whether or not to abort my “not perfect” fetus. Thank you United States of America for giving me that decision. And I wrestled.


I am not looking for a round of applause or pat on the back here. I certainly do not deserve one and I am not writing for popularities’ sake because I know without a doubt I stand AGAINST the current here and many of you are just shaking your heads right now. And I’m sure many of you would have taken the opportunity to end his life. Calling it your right. In reality, if you were honest with yourself, it simply would have been a convenience for you and believe me, the selfish side of me really wanted that convenience for awhile there. I hated the idea of having a baby that I thought wouldn’t be able to live well. Run like the wind. Would be so different from his peers. How thankful I am that the LORD protected me from myself. Protected me from that decision because if anyone has met my son, you know that he is living life well. Running like the wind on bilateral prosthetics. Kind and unhindered, he teaches the world more about love than any words I could every write or any marching I could ever do.

SO, since we’re all about equality here and you have to listen to different view points than you’d probably like to, what makes you think you have a right to kill a baby? You’re passionate about a woman’s rights but not a babies? Your preaching equality and taking to the streets yet withholding it from the most vulnerable. You are passionate about kindness so much so that you are fighting against the unkind words of a leader you didn’t elect but you won’t actually let that baby live because it is an inconvenience for you. And then you march about it when you think your “reproductive rights” could be jeopardized and the convenience taken away. Clearly Planned Parenthood as an organization does other useful things. I’m not hear to argue that. Without a doubt the Trump administration will do something right over the next four years…

If you’ve ever been pregnant you KNOW you have no control over what is happening in your body. If you’ve battled infertility you realize first hand you have no control over the creation of life. You can do everything “right” but not get pregnant. Year after year you try. I know, I’ve been there. But then one day you get pregnant and you realize even more clearly than before that your body is not your own for you do not get to wake up and decide whether or not you get morning sickness or gain weight or have a boy or HAVE A BABY WITH FEET. You see, your body grows that life without your willful involvement. If you have ever been pregnant you realize you DO NOT have control over what your body is doing. In this time your body is not your own. It is growing life whether you like it or not. It is not your right.

Oh my friends. I’m all for strong women. I AM a strong woman. I’ve marched through dark days, deep waters and I don’t need an ill-defined march to prove that. I hope my friends and family see my strength day in and day out. I hope they see me marching through all my days on earth with the same tenacity and hope. Fighting for what is right and refusing to stay silent when what is wrong is evident. I will not stand for hateful rhetoric but I will also not let myself get carried away calling on my strong woman rights to miss the point entirely. I will not let you fight for 90% of what is right and not the other 10%. If you’re going to walk those streets you need to not be turning a blind eye to very evident discrepancy in rights and actions.

Perhaps we have gotten so caught up in defining a “right” that we don’t realize what that is anymore? Perhaps we all define it differently and therefore have no idea what it looks like. Perhaps this points us heavenward. This desiring to be equally loved, this striving to be heard. Maybe…just maybe, there is a bit more to this life than meets the eyes. Dig deep my friends and search. Feel it in the quickened pulse and excitement as you march along.

I don’t need to join you along a parade route to have a voice but I’m proud of you for marching if you feel like you need to. I’m speaking my voice daily into the little lives I’m raising up and into the sweet husband I’m lucky to have equally by my side.

I have a voice when I go to the grocery store, I have a voice when I drive my car kindly along the road. I have a voice when I chose to love. To not respond harshly. To give grace when I’d rather withhold it. I’m marching through my days with the intention to give out grace like smiles. I’m already strong. I already have “rights” but I will march with you all towards grace with strength and fortitude. I choose to fight for EVERYONE’S rights including the most vulnerable and you should to. Don’t settle for empty rhetoric or an ill defined current that carries you along. Ground yourself in what is true and right and there you will find equality for all and the strength you are so hoping is protected.

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